And I found myself standing in the middle of a room full of my friends, some colleagues, and some loved ones, not to mention Family too!
Yes, you guessed it right, it was my Birthday (a few years back) and this was all my besties who arranged it.
Delightful surprises like this can make your whole day or evening, and you remember them for a longer period (like in my case to date 😊). Of course, not all surprises are good ones.
The negative surprises are much more challenging than positive ones—and the bad news is you can't avoid them, being the part of Life.
So, lets first understand what surprise is?
If you look at Wikipedia, it is described as—Surprise is a brief mental and physiological state, a startle response experienced by animals and humans as the result of an unexpected event.
On the other hand, it turns out that surprise works on the dopamine system in our brains, helping us to focus our attention and inspiring us to look at our situation in new ways. I was recently reading a book named
-- Surprise: Embrace the Unpredictable and Engineer the Unexpected, the writer, Tania Luna outline four stages of the surprise response, which I would like to share with you all here.
1- Freeze—when we are stopped in our tracks because of the unexpected
2- Find—when we get hooked into trying to understand what's going on/how this happened
3- Shift—when we begin to shift our perspectives, based on conflicting findings
4- Share—when we feel the pull to share our surprises with others
You must have heard this like hundred times--- "I don't like surprises", to be honest, I was one of those people. So, I can understand and explain better why it was like this? For some people including me, the desire to avoid all surprises is paramount because we fear appearing ill-prepared. This thought of vulnerability makes us play safe and stop ourselves from exploring, which is not right.
Along with the time, we learn many things, and this was one of them about me. You cannot always go by the "plan", no matter how hard you try, life keeps giving you surprises. So there it clicked me. When life itself is full of expecting the unexpected each day, then how can you avoid it. And once you accept & adopt something, of course, it becomes easy.
Now, when we are talking about delightful, good surprises how can I let you go without giving away some of my favorite ways of all time.
IDEAS TO SURPRISE PEOPLE AROUND YOU:
Delight other people by giving them small, unexpected gifts---
1- Surprise fuels passionate relationships----Whether it's sending new lover flowers on a random Tuesday ("just because"), or sealing the deal with a memorable marriage proposal, romance is all about surprise. One experiment conducted among middle-aged married couples found that engaging in less common, but more "exciting" activities like skiing or dancing led to greater marriage satisfaction than pursuing activities that are more common and "pleasant," like seeing a movie or cooking together. So all those with partners, try this out!
2- For Teens & Kids-- Create A Treasure hunt. Its one of the best ways to keep them engaged and excited at the same time.
3- For Friend, Boy/ Girlfriend---Pack The Gift In A Prank Box. (you know what I mean)
4- For Family, Partners, Spouse--Surprise Them with A Clue. It could be a text message, a prank call leading them toward your surprise. Be creative and you will see how much fun it can be.
5- For anyone--Plan A Day Of Gifts/ Surprise Them With Tickets To An Event/ ride Them To A Surprise Event/ Plan a party/ or Just Delivering flowers.
6- For Birthdays (Balloon notes) --Are you looking for creative ways to give birthday presents? Make a note or card, cut into a few to several pieces. Place each piece into a balloon, blow it up, tie it and present a balloon bouquet.
The second idea is to make the JAR of Notes. This will include, your short memories penned down, positive quote, something good about them, or just your feelings/ what you feel for them.
7- Riddles or Questions--For those of you who like to be a little more creative, when you give a present, you can make them think! Create a fun riddle that needs to be solved. The answer to the riddle can either be a clue to the gift or the answer. Spoiler alert! don't make it too complicated or with so many riddles, else the person will lose the interest.
8- Organized Tours—It is a great way to give the gift of an experience! There are also many organized tours for you to enjoy from being active on walking or biking tour, to enjoying a food or wine tour. On such surprise events, there is so much to do and explore. This keeps the fun intact.
9- Video or Slide Show--Have them unwrap their gift in a video, you can give hints in photos or text flashes on the screen. You can make this load of fun. Perhaps a hint with the music which they love.
Now as we all know, like every action has an equal and opposite reaction, the same way each feeling, or emotion has its negative side too. And no wonder this feeling of getting or giving surprise is not an exception for the same.
So, is there a Negative Surprise?
The answer is yes guys there are, and as you go down this article you won't agree more to the same. In short, the negative surprises are what gives us a bad after effect and most of the time leave us lost, confused, and depressed. Receiving a devastating diagnosis, having a car accident, or losing your job will not be a welcome change of pace. But the good news is you can learn to deal and overcome them!
A-Losing a Job: The worst nightmare of any employee in the current scenario. When you feel that you are giving your best, trying hard to fit in, and complete all, no matter how much in there on your plate. One day you walk in, you are been called by your boss, and just after creating a small platform, you are dropped with the bomb that you are Fired!
B- Finding that your Partner is cheating on you: For me prospective the second-worst on in the list. When you start planning & dreaming of your future together as a couple, no one thinks that the person we are with will be a cheat. The moment when you found the same, it leaves you shattered, and hopeless, and the world looks like a dark hole to all of us.
C- Someone's sudden demise: This one doesn't need much to write about. I am sure we all have gone through this pain at some of the other points in life. Losing someone you love, or were close with, always make us question the life and how short and fragile it is.
And the list can go on and on. But when we know that we cannot run from such situations, so the only options come to mind--- how to deal with them?
SO, HOW TO OVERCOME NEGATIVE SURPRISES?
Being open to uncertainty, learning how to reframe negative experiences in more positive ways, and nurturing stable relationships are all tools we can use to recover from negative surprises more easily.
Here I won't deny that that is not as easy as said. But if you look you will see, that all whenever ant thing negative happens you always respond in two ways:
Rise and Fight Back: This is what you see around most of the time, including today's time. We all are fighting with Corona Virus, no matter what country, city, gender, class you belong to. The fact is that we all are together in this fight.
The same goes for the people who lost their jobs, loved ones to this infection. Those people are still fighting day and night, with their surroundings, challenges, and emotional trauma.
Give up and Leave: I am adding this because I know some people do this as well. They accept the wrong and get settled down with it. Or at least they think that they can.
These are the people how need help, from family and friends. There are many people how to talk to meet how hard it is, and how they have been that they are drowning in the situation and can't find a shore to get their breath back. Learning out of my own experiences here I would like to provide them some tips:
· Don't think you are alone.
· Don't always make it about yourself. Sometimes, other people, situations, and factors are responsible for your condition too.
· Take deep breaths, practice this whenever you feel low.
· Stay in the company of positive-minded people. These people make you see, what you can't see on your own.
· Start writing a journal and pour all your negative thoughts in it.
· Evaluate the situation and see what all is left, which can be useful for a fresh start.
· Ask for help, don't feel shy to do so. It really works.
· Read books, with positive & self-development massages in the same. (I am listing below a few which will help.)
· If you are a believer, Pray.
· If you are a non-believer, then just think, that it's a cycle like now you are in bad shape, you will reach to a good one. Because as the earth can't stop rotating, your life can't stop moving forward. So, let's go with the flow.
I am sure, you all must have your own experiences and methods. Do let me know, what are your best ways on this topic, I would love to see and hear your opinions.
And like I always say, if you found this post helpful ( which I hope so), please do share with other people
The Power Of Positive Thinking: by Norman Vincent Peale
Good Vibes, Good Life: by Vex King
Think Like a Monk: by Jay Shetty
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